Great email junk i got

I got this in an email from a very dear friend of mine who knows my husband as well as i do.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT

1. He does not have a ' BEER GUT' - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'

3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'

5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL ASS' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION

6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It's REAR CLEAVAGE.