People in today's world just don't care for others . It is hard find people now a days that care for anyone other then themselves .Me myself and I are the only ones lots of people care about .To hell with the rest of the world .So much for love they neighbor.
As many of you know YEARS ago we had a very beautiful but sad and hallow little 15 month girl come to us who needed a family that would love her and protect her from her own family.She was brought to us by someone in her family ,it was only going to be for a night or two until they could figure things out .well it turned in to her beinging with us till she was 3 and a half ! They all knew she was with us, but they all went on with their lives .We took it day by day helping her with all her emotional problems she had to work through. making her whole ,just like children should be . She was ours and we were hers life was great ! she had parents who loved her grandparents great grandparents aunts uncles ...a whole life ! She ruled the house "mommy and daddy" did anything she wanted and most of the time it was dress up and snuggles .A great life .
we started to move on and away just knowing that the bio family would not care because they had always been able to see her but chose not to and when they did it was few and far between .except for one cousin who was young and we would go get her every week end.no one ever even asked about "our" baby when we would pick her cousin up. at the time we were young and did not know to take legal steps to protect ourselves (her included) .and NEVER thought that this family would ever take her away. Well we were sadly fooled .on a sad October 2nd they insisted that she come back that her mother was going to be a mother NOW why now and not before i have no idea .again being young and naive we allowed this to happen .It killed us ! They promised that her life would be so great now.I knew that was not going the be the case but no one in that family would help us .Sadly we had to let her go. She and her cousin were heartbroken ,we were devastated ! We never recovered . Pictures were always up in our homes now matter where we moved prayers were always said for those girls I cried every October 2cd I cried every birthday that passed.Never ! not one day! ever went by with out thinking about her . We were blessed with our wonderful boys ,and even that was bitter sweet because I just knew she would have been a great big sister ,laying in my hospital bed i thought of her missed her prayed for her.The one thing that our boys have always wanted to this day is a big sister .
Then My space came along and I got a hit from the family about 2 months ago saying that they have been looking for us for years ,that her life had not been good at all the mother was not who she should have been and would we like to see her and her cousin again .Now let me tell you I have always said that this HELL we went through was worse then having your child die because if God forbid your child dies you know that they are home with God ,not hurting not hungry ,not lost or alone ,you mourn them you want them but YOU know where they are .This was worse because I knew none of that for 10 years ! all I could do was pray that she was safe,and now they tell me i can see these girls we love and miss .Oh yes please !
we got to meet with them and have dinner .during this visit we were told that she was told several things over the years .we were dead, we didn't want her ,we had kids of our own so we didn't want her again . now lets do some thinking here they had not heard from us in 10 years! they had no idea if we had kids ,they were even hoping that we didn't when they found us we didn't so we would want her . and and my boys are only 6 ! there are years that we did not have children !
these people have messed with her little head for years ,passed her from place to place family member to family member her perfect mother came in and out of her life . we gave her pictures hugs and filled in parts of her life for her.it was a wonderful and sad evening all rolled into one.
After that night we were told that the family was all aboard with the idea that she would come back to us.That they would help this time . once again they were done with her ! they had even told her she would get to come here .but this time they said they would do it right they would work with CPS we could have rights ,she would be safe with us no one could take her again . i started to look for schools and bedroom things and counseling for her i told my friends and family it looked like she could come home !
this went on and on me hearing how things were going getting to talk to her being told that the family was getting the ball rolling. until Thursday ... that's the day i was told by the family that CPS wanted to talk to me that they were going to call me Friday or Monday .I was even given a name of a case worker who was going to call me after she talked to her supervisor . That's when i stopped hearing from anyone
well not being that young naive person i was 10 years ago i took matters in my own hands and called CPS . Boy was i surprised when i talked to the case worker she was not the name i was given by the way, she had not one clue who i was .Well she does now ! I told her all i was told she and i compared notes . she knew after our call that i was very well informed on this family and the past ,i was basically reading her case file to her .
I told her that i was getting the feeling that the family member who contacted me thought that they could just drop her back on me like they did 10 years ago . she agreed . i was told that they were not going to remove this now 13 year old from the home that the family was going to work "a program "and that they were going to monitor the family . I gave her my name and number and told her that when and if CPS decided to finally remove her that yes we VERY much would love to take her back .she was glad to hear that and would keep my number and gave me hers in case i ever had any more information for her as well .
all this was just for what ? fun? did this family member enjoy themselves knowing how hurt we were 10 years ago did they just think this was ok ? who knows . do i think that my little girls life has been hard and that everything was as bad as i was told? yes, to some degree or another i do . Do i know why i was led on like this no i don't .
i am now just left again hurt ,broken ,devastated but now it is worse because instead of not knowing how bad things are or where she is .I do .
and i cant do a damn thing about it because the family is going to "do a program " with CPS . so i just have to sit here with this information on my heart and not have contact once again. because i do love her i understand that at 13 this is all very hard on her as well . until the next time they decide to poke a stick at me .
MERRY FREAKING CHRISTMAS